These are the New Standards // Regulators Episode 1
Bonus · published 2024-11-24 · archive #283

[0:00:00] Andrew: Hello and welcome. That's funny too, because he wasn't in. No, keep going.
[0:00:04] Gavin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Gavin.
[0:00:05] Andrew: Hello, I'm going to do something about, but go ahead, Gavin.
[0:00:08] Gavin: He wasn't in Payday either, which was another heist, which is funny.
[0:00:11] Eric: Yeah, he's just not a heist guy. Well, he's not. He doesn't like anything illegal. He's very by the book. That's why he plays Call of Duty or whatever. He's a man of honor. Oh, no, that's a different series. Yeah, it's Medal of Honor. That's a different one.
[0:00:23] Andrew: That's the. Is that the other Steven Spielberg one? Remember how that Ridley Scott Delta Force game is coming out? Yeah, that that was Medal of Honor was Saving Private Ryan, right? And they partner with him or something or. Yeah, I think so. I think so. That's so long ago. What does it matter?
[0:00:39] Eric: What is the what's the Ridley Scott game?
[0:00:42] Andrew: The we saw it at Summer Games Fest where they're like levels inspired by the Black Hawk down film.
[0:00:49] Eric: That's right. It's it was called like Delta Force. I don't think you saw this, Gavin. It's like Delta Force Black Hawk down. And it's just like you are the Black Hawk that has gone down and you must escape. And it's like, oh, what year does this game come out?
[0:01:04] Andrew: What happened? Feature sequences from the Ridley Scott film. And it's like that. That was a movie based on a real event. It's sort of a weird framing of so bizarre. I mean, there's probably some exaggerated action. But what are we doing here today? And we're regulating is what we're doing. We are doing them calling this the regulators. We are the regulation crew. This is not all of us, but we have three people here. That's enough for a majority. Fuck them. Fuck Nick. Fuck Eric. They're not here. They don't get to decide. They got a liberty.
[0:01:31] Eric: Well, now let's be clear.
[0:01:32] Andrew: I'm Eric. Oh, I said Eric. Oh, I'm sorry. Nick.
[0:01:37] Eric: Sorry. Sorry, man. Gut reaction.
[0:01:42] Gavin: Andrew's filler wasn't on.
[0:01:43] Andrew: No, I just was looking at our chat. I just read your name and I was used to you being away last week. So I'm still adjusting. Fuck Nick. Fuck Jeff is what I meant to say. Okay, cool. Yeah. Okay. And we got to pick stuff. We got to set regulations on things. Now, I used to have the regulation bagel and that was great. So I figured we could go through some items and deem what we view as the regulation version of that thing. Oh, these are the regulation bagel. These are things with a variety of options. So we've been deep in our hot dog era right now, eating lots of dogs inside of, I don't think, Gavin, I don't think you've had a hot dog, have you, since we started camping?
[0:02:27] Eric: Not yet. I'm not on the board yet. Not on the board. Now, but here's the thing about the hot dog board. And I had to explain this to my dad when I told him about the hot dog, the dog count situation when I said like, oh yeah, I've had like five this month and like, that's the most I've had all year. And he went, oh, so it's like a competition to see who can eat the most. And I went, no, it's just a counter to see how many you've had. However, it is activating something within me that makes me feel like it is a competition where I have to keep up and eat the most hot dogs, which negates the whole situation.
[0:02:59] Andrew: Yeah. I'd love to talk to Jeff about if that is the same for him. Because that man's on like 10 dogs and we're like three weeks into this. And the whole point was, this seems crazy. Like no one's going to hit 70. He is. Oh my God. He is consuming so many. But I think we need to set, what is the regulation hot dog? What do you view, if you were to say, I want a hot dog, what do you think is the expectation of what that package is?
[0:03:26] Gavin: Dog ketchup busted.
[0:03:27] Andrew: Oh, you don't. Okay.
[0:03:29] Eric: But here, but here's the thing. Like, I think people get so feisty about what's on a hot dog in specific. Yeah. Like, I think like Chicago is like a big, like, you can't put ketchup, right? Like, isn't that weird?
[0:03:45] Andrew: It is. They're like aggressive about it.
[0:03:47] Gavin: Yeah. Well, I Googled hot dog and it came up with a ketchup and mustard dog. Yeah. Interesting.
[0:03:56] Andrew: I would agree. I think there'd be a large percentage of people arguing maybe onion or relish.
[0:04:04] Eric: Yeah. And I think that's kind of like where I land more. However, we have to consider that this isn't necessarily what we like, right? It's more about what if you were to get just, hey, we're getting hot dogs. This, like, we're not saying anything about it. It's just hot dogs, right?
[0:04:23] Andrew: I think we have to like it, but it, it's not necessarily, like, if we're setting the regulation, it should probably be representative of us. But I think there also has to be some consideration of like what the expectation is of that thing.
[0:04:37] Eric: Like, this, this is going to be very hard for me, um, personally, because I hate ketchup.
[0:04:44] Gavin: Really? I hate yellow mustard.
[0:04:47] Eric: I hate relish. I hate, like, most of the stuff that goes on a hot dog. Here's three hot dogs. I look at these and I go, terrible.
[0:04:56] Andrew: So the three hot dogs are one ketchup, one relish, one mustard. Yes.
[0:05:03] Gavin: Where does your moisture come from? Where does the wetness happen for you?
[0:05:07] Eric: Like, I, I like a sriracha or typically a chili cheese, uh, is usually what I go with. However, I can't in good conscience say the default, like, well, the regulation hot dog is a chili cheese dog because that's a separate things. And that's where I'm coming from with this, where it's, that's totally fair. Yeah. Like, it's hard for me because I don't like, I don't like ketchup and I like, you know, hearty, like stone ground mustard. I don't like French's yellow. I think it tastes so bad. I think it tastes so, so bad. Um, what about Grey Poupon or whatever that other one is? Yeah. You need like the stone ground mustard. Like that's, that's my move. But like, man, I don't, I don't know. Gavin, like when you eat a hot dog, what are you, what are you putting on your dog?
[0:05:50] Gavin: Uh, if I'm eating a dog, it's probably a baseboard. I'm just putting ketchup and mustard. And if there's onions, I'll stick those on, but nothing more advanced than that.
[0:05:58] Andrew: You're really, I'm shocked. You're not a relish guy. Relish feels so like.
[0:06:02] Gavin: No, it looks rough. Really? It's, it's, it's like bad Branson. I was going to say to me, it's Branson adjacent. I figured you'd be all about it. Yeah, but it's too like pickly, even though Branson pickle is just, I don't, yeah, I don't
[0:06:15] Eric: understand.
[0:06:16] Andrew: What are you talking about?
[0:06:18] Eric: It's Branson pickle. This is good. It's already the whole, it just started and it's already fallen apart.
[0:06:24] Andrew: This is fantastic. I had no idea you felt so strongly about ketchup and mustard, Eric. That's really interesting to me.
[0:06:30] Eric: Yeah. I, I've just never been that way. I just don't like that stuff. Ketchup is so sweet to me that it just doesn't belong on most things. Um, and then mustard, like French's yellow mustard. Uh, it's just not, it does. It's not appetizing. I don't think it smells or sure. Like looks or smells terrible. Yeah.
[0:06:52] Gavin: Ketchup grew on me. I didn't have ketchup until I was in my twenties and I moved here. Really? I always avoided it. Yeah.
[0:06:58] Andrew: Interesting.
[0:06:58] Gavin: Don't know what happened. Just palate changed.
[0:07:00] Andrew: Maybe we, we start more gradually. Can we agree on a bun? Are we just talking like a standard white bun? It's gotta be just a, yeah, I think it's gotta be just a standard one. No poppy seeds, no, just a basic plain ass white bun.
[0:07:11] Eric: Yeah. I think it's, I think it's gotta be just a straight white, like I'm, I'm, I also think those ones that are cut along the top, like the newfangled bun, I think that's too much like advanced bun technology. Sure. I just need the one that you like set on the side and circle regular hot dog bun. I think that's it.
[0:07:29] Andrew: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we all agree on that. Uh huh. All basic hot dog. We were not trying for no smoky, no bro, like no crazy. This, the standard package dog. Yeah. Now we're at the condiment issue. It's just a big issue. It's a big issue. Um, cause it sounds to me like there's a world in which you would have mustard, just not necessarily. Yeah.
[0:07:51] Eric: I like stone ground mustard, like a, like a big, you know, like the big seed, like actual mustard. I like that.
[0:07:58] Gavin: What about English mustard?
[0:07:59] Eric: Oh, what is English mustard?
[0:08:02] Gavin: It's yellow still, but it's, it will like blast up your nostrils if you have too much.
[0:08:07] Eric: Oh, like, Oh, so it's a hot, it's like a hot mustard.
[0:08:10] Gavin: It's not, it's, we talking horse radishy. It's very horse radishy. Yeah. It's Coleman's.
[0:08:16] Eric: Yeah. I don't know what that is.
[0:08:17] Gavin: It comes in a powder sometimes or in a little pot. I don't want powdered mustard. It's used very sparingly.
[0:08:22] Eric: Huh. I mean, I guess I could be okay with that. I don't know that I've had it. Um.
[0:08:28] Gavin: Oh, we got to get you some.
[0:08:30] Eric: Oh. Okay.
[0:08:31] Gavin: We all present to you our dogs, but I just told you all the things I don't like.
[0:08:37] Eric: I don't think I would be the right person.
[0:08:38] Andrew: I think it would be more the mustard that we'd present him with. Yeah. Mustard alternatives.
[0:08:43] Eric: Yeah. And, and also I don't want to do anything with mustard. I hate it. Yeah, that's fair.
[0:08:48] Gavin: I'm convinced that you'll like my mustard.
[0:08:51] Eric: So, so it's this one on the left, the English mustard. It's like thick peanut butter. Yeah.
[0:08:55] Gavin: But don't confuse it with like French's, which looks very similar.
[0:08:59] Eric: Yeah. Okay, cool. I mean, I would try it. I just think French's is terrible. And I really like that, that beer mustard, like the picture that I just said, like that really like stone ground, like huge seeds. That I think is so good. I love that. But I don't think that's what people go to for hot dogs.
[0:09:15] Andrew: I think, do we have to get, and I guess we have to decide, do we have to get super specific or can we just say a mustard, a mustard is on the dog and that's good enough.
[0:09:26] Eric: I could say, I could go with just mustard on a dog. The problem is ketchup because I don't think there's a ketchup alternative to you. No, I think that there's just, I think, I think I will have to sort of acquiesce and be like, this is a thing I don't enjoy, but I understand why people need it on their hot dog.
[0:09:45] Andrew: What about bacon? Like that's too extravagant, right?
[0:09:48] Eric: Or is that? Love it. Love it. But does not, I don't think when I think regulation hot dog, I don't think it's on there.
[0:09:53] Andrew: And no cheese as well. I assume that's in the same category.
[0:09:56] Eric: Yeah. I think that cheese is more in like the chili cheese dog territory and that just becomes, that's like a different food altogether. I guess.
[0:10:09] Andrew: Here's the dilemma that I kind of, in my head, I'm now facing with this. I love ketchup, but I'm okay with just mustard on a dog. However, it feels kind of insane for us to say the regulation hot dog is a plain hot dog with just mustard on it.
[0:10:24] Eric: No, I think the right, honestly, honestly, what I would propose is the regulation hot dog is just a hot dog on a bun. That's what I just, that's a plain hot dog.
[0:10:34] Andrew: Yes.
[0:10:35] Eric: Oh, I don't mind a plain hot dog. I'll have a plain dog. Oh, I'll eat, I'll eat nine playing hot dogs. Yeah. I don't give a shit. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you got to get the real flavor of the bread and the meat. The flavor of the bread. I got to taste, I got to taste the pigeon beak and raccoon feed. Otherwise, what am I doing here, Gavin?
[0:10:58] Andrew: This is raccoon 1989, I believe. A slight hazelnut.
[0:11:04] Gavin: This is insane. I think you're going to make the regulation talk.
[0:11:07] Andrew: I'm talking a lot of fun. There's already disagreement with ketchup and mustard. Well, the problem is, I'm thinking about the other guys. I think Nick hates ketchup, doesn't he? Or Jeff hates ketchup. So one of them hates ketchup. You know, I don't know. I think one of them hates ketchup.
[0:11:23] Gavin: Even if you hate ketchup, though, it doesn't, a dog, you can plow through it. It's on a dog.
[0:11:28] Eric: Yeah. Listen, I'm all for it. Again, I'm fine with acquiescing and go, I'm totally fine with it.
[0:11:34] Andrew: So, it sounds like we're in agreement that the regulation dog is not necessarily French's mustard, which is, I feel, what most people would say. But a mustard of some kind, ketchup of your choice, and then just a basic white, no bacon, no cheese, just dog, ketchup, mustard.
[0:11:55] Eric: I think that's what it has to be. I think that's what, I think people would argue that, like, a relish belongs on there, but I'll stand on that hill and say, like, no, I don't think so. Like, I don't, I'm not for it. I don't like relish. Yeah, I have no problem. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's this. I just sent a picture of, uh, that's hot dogs.
[0:12:14] Gavin: I like that there's relish, but they're not using it.
[0:12:17] Eric: Yeah, absolutely. There also appears to be onions, so, you know.
[0:12:20] Andrew: Um, I like that we're in agreement, which is before we move off of hot dogs to lock in this regulation dog. Do you get artistic when you do the condiment thing? I never, the lines and all that, I'm not one of those guys.
[0:12:32] Eric: No, I put it, I put it down the side of the dog in the bun, so that way it's not splashing all over the place. Yeah. What about you, Gavin? You a little condiment artist?
[0:12:41] Gavin: I do it pretty similarly to the, uh, the picture there. Yeah. But usually I'm doing, you know, two or three at a time, because I don't want to go up to the, the counter twice.
[0:12:48] Andrew: Yeah.
[0:12:49] Gavin: Uh, yeah. So my first one is usually the nicest, and then I'm getting pretty messy on the third one.
[0:12:54] Andrew: Well, we did it. That makes sense. We established the regulation dog.
[0:12:58] Eric: But, but hang on, before we go, what, I just proposed this. Look at these. I, listen, Eric, I'm with you. I love it. Just a plain ass. Here's just, here's just, like, here's just eight dogs. Just eight hot dogs, nothing on them.
[0:13:13] Gavin: You couldn't put those out with nothing else. Yeah. People would be like, people would pick up the bun and the dog and start looking around. They'd be like, where's the, where's the station?
[0:13:22] Andrew: Imagine, Eric, you and I just sitting down, chowing down on some plain dogs, and Gavin just looking at us like we're psychos. I could easily eat three of those things. Like, just without questioning it.
[0:13:32] Eric: Oh, absolutely, no doubt. No doubt. Yeah, we're just eating, playing dogs, baby. Let's have some dogs.
[0:13:40] Gavin: Okay. I have a, I just thought of a game, actually, before we move fully on. Of course. Oh, okay, cool. I want your opinion on, on my game. Let me show you pictures. Okay. What if we did a game where you make, you make four dogs, right? Okay. And you take a picture that's sliced like this. But one, and then you present five pictures. Four of them are dogs, and one is my penis. Okay.
[0:14:08] Eric: I don't want to play this. I don't want to play this game at all. I'm good. I don't want to play. Gavin. I don't, I don't want to play this game. It's going to be, because they're all going to look professionally lit like this, except the one that you used to flash on in your bathroom.
[0:14:27] Andrew: Oh, my God. Oh, it's just like a dark room. It's like white, white, white, dark. What's wrong with the color of this hot dog? Would you put ketchup on your dick for the photo, Gavin? Like, to what extent? Oh, I'd make it a little match, for sure. Oh, man. That's a terrible game. You fucked up my algorithm, by the way. I got a TikTok the other day from a woman who runs a glory hole business talking about how she set it up. What? And it has like, it had like 200 likes. Like, it was not you. No way. Yeah. It was the whole thing. I watched it just completely curious of what even is this world. But you're fucking up my algorithm, bitch. You just keep making it worse. Um, that's dogs. Regulation dog, ketchup, mustard, bun, basic, even basic dog, essentially. Yeah. We're in agreement. Nothing fancy. Uh, we have a few things we could go from here.
[0:15:28] Andrew: What about we do French fry cut? Ooh. There's a lot of food. Okay. On this one. Okay. But it's the main thing I can think of variety of. What about fry? What is the regulation fry? I feel like curly is too fancy.
[0:15:39] Eric: Yeah. I, I'm particular. I'll eat any French fry, but I'm particular about which fry that I like, like which, which one I enjoy the most. And to me, it is the standard McDonald's cut French fry, the thin, long and crispy French fry. That to me, that's, that's the French fry. When I think of French fry, it's that. It's not a wedge cut. It's not curly. It's the standard idea of a French fry. I, the only criticism.
[0:16:12] Gavin: I'd choose that.
[0:16:12] Andrew: But yeah, right. Exactly. It's exactly that. Is it the same thing, Gavin? Yeah.
[0:16:16] Gavin: Yeah, pretty much. Maybe less pale.
[0:16:20] Andrew: Right, right, right, right. My only criticism with those fries is because of how small they are, it's really tough. There's a sweet spot with like a crinkle cut or a larger fry where it is extremely crispy, but still fluffy. Those fries, they're either crunchy or soft. There's no like. Yeah.
[0:16:40] Gavin: You can get some real limp dick ones in there. Yeah.
[0:16:42] Eric: It's either limp dick or like it's a crunch. But the thing is, I love those. I love the limp ones. I love the crunch ones. I love that cut of French fry. I don't care what it is. I'll shovel them. Like I'll make a, dude, I'll have like French fry dinner. I don't give a shit. Like I just want to eat handfuls of them. I love them so much. I love that cut. The one I can't stand, the one that I think is a disgrace, is the larger, not too big wedge cut. Like go bigger or go smaller because the wedge cut ones there are awful. It's just like, yeah, here's, here's about a sixth of a potato. Yes. Okay.
[0:17:29] Gavin: That's like an English pub chip.
[0:17:30] Eric: That's great. Yeah. But that's not what I want. Like if I get French fries at a restaurant. Yeah. If I get French fries at a restaurant and it's those, I'm disappointed.
[0:17:39] Andrew: It just depends to me. There's a huge variance in the wedge fry. You need to have a fantastic wedge fry for me to like. I agree. But they exist. It's just hard. I find a lot of wedge fries aren't cooked enough to my liking. No, I agree. A hundred percent. Like the kind of being raw a little bit, it feels like. I want more of a crunch in it. But there are, I've had wedge fries that are fantastic. But you got to know, like it's not the, the smaller cut fry that you suggested, I feel like is a much higher rate of consistently good fry as opposed to the wedge may go higher for me, but it is much more likely to fail miserably and be a not good experience. You're a fan of the English less than, but you, but you suggested the smaller one. So even you are more of a fan of that, or are you now just thinking about the English
[0:18:27] Gavin: style pub? I mean, in a pub, it wouldn't be a regulation fry. It would be a pub fry, right? It'd be a chip.
[0:18:34] Andrew: So you think that the small fry couldn't exist in every environment? I feel like if we're setting a regulation, like with a steak, would you want normal
[0:18:43] Gavin: little chips or would you want some thickies?
[0:18:46] Eric: I want, I want normal chips all the time. So, but, but with a, with a steak, I don't anticipate they're going to be a regular thin cut fry. I assume I'm going to get a large wedge to substitute for what the potato is doing.
[0:19:00] Gavin: Yeah. And you need some, sometimes if you, if you've got gravy going on or sauce, you need some soakage. Yeah. And you don't want just really wet, thin fries.
[0:19:10] Andrew: I will say the McDonald's poutine, Canada, pretty good. And that is a gravy situation with that fry. Wow.
[0:19:17] Eric: Would recommend. Never thought to get McDonald's poutine. Yeah. I think it's a pretty regional item. Yeah.
[0:19:23] Gavin: So you think Eric, that that's the worst fries, like the thick one?
[0:19:27] Eric: Uh, it's the one, it's more the one that I sent than what you sent. Like the difference to me is that those like pub chip, pub fries, whatever, like the ones that you sent seem like they're fried pretty well and they have like some structure. The ones that I sent is what Andrew's talking about. They're pale. They're almost like an undercooked thing. When I get fries, when I get fries like that, yeah, you get fries like that and you just go, okay, you put a bunch of parsley on the outside of it. These suck. Like I'm disappointed more often than not. Um, and I just, you know, it's just not for me.
[0:20:07] Gavin: I feel like the worst fry that the least satisfying piece of shit get out of my face fry is this.
[0:20:13] Eric: Uh, the big mountain, the big mountain of like the ultra thin, ultra skinny, extra, extra
[0:20:19] Gavin: thin, awful. Really?
[0:20:22] Eric: They're never, you're never satisfied. You're never satisfied with them. No, it's just, it just never happens.
[0:20:27] Andrew: See, that's a problem. Me and fries in general, I will eat a million fries. So I'm never satisfied. Oh, me too. No matter the cut.
[0:20:32] Eric: Oh no, I'm, I'm satisfied the whole time I'm eating them. That's the hard part is that the satisfaction never dwindles is that I'm constantly going like, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. It's like eating candy. Like I don't want to ever stop. How do we feel about a waffle fry? I like a waffle fry. I just don't, I don't know. For it. But I also, if you said, Hey, we're going to have fries or I go to a place and I order fries and their waffle cut without saying their waffle cut. I think that's crazy.
[0:21:02] Andrew: That's fair. The thing I like about the waffle fry is it is essentially the small fries you're suggesting, but they have a larger variance of hitting that kind of crispy, but fluffy because there's more potato.
[0:21:16] Gavin: Yeah. There's more like internal area. And I think they're great if you've got a real ketchup situation. It's like a, it's like a ketchup glove.
[0:21:24] Eric: It is. Yeah. It is great for scooping. I like them particularly when it's the waffle, like the waffle cut French fry, but it has like a curly fry kind of seasoning to it. Oh yeah. That's when I'm real. That's like, I think that's when waffle fries are like at their best. I agree. I'd agree with that.
[0:21:44] Andrew: Oh man.
[0:21:44] Gavin: The bad thing about waffle fries is that if it's the edge of a potato, you get these really weird, like curved dreggy ones.
[0:21:51] Eric: Yes.
[0:21:52] Gavin: And they are really annoying to me. They really piss me off. I don't know what it is.
[0:21:56] Eric: No, I get it. I mean, I totally understand. You feel like you're getting...
[0:22:00] Gavin: It's like a potato chip almost. It is weird. Like the thing with a normal fry is that they're all pretty good.
[0:22:06] Eric: Yeah.
[0:22:06] Gavin: But the dreggy waffle fries are just really unsatisfying. The ratios are all screwed up.
[0:22:10] Eric: But to me, it's the thing that Chick-fil-A does. I feel like I get it more often. It's something like Chick-fil-A where it's what you're talking about, Gavin, where it's like, oh, okay, you got to, you got a couple of good ones. And then here's this like little wackadoo piece. Yeah. And it's just like, here's the outside of a potato.
[0:22:31] Gavin: And what it is, even if the taste is fine, it's work for you because you're watching them, you're eyeing them up. You're thinking, oh, that's going to be a great one. I'm going to save that. Let me get on some of these. And then it's just like, I don't want to be, you know, if it's normal fries, I'm not really thinking about that. I'm just grabbing a handful. I'm stuffing them in.
[0:22:46] Eric: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you had the waffle fry cut, like they're very, very thin cut waffle fry, like chips? No. I didn't think so. That was so good. Yeah. Yeah. I would say they're more like a potato chip than they are the fry, but it's the same kind of principle. They're very good. They're very, just thin and crispy and you can mow through like a million. Great for dipping too. I really liked them. Is that like in a restaurant or like, where would you get those? Yeah. There was a, there's a bar in San Diego that I would go to all the time and they had those on the menu and you would just like, you go insane for them. They're so good. I'm going to post a general fry chart just so we could kind of lock this in a little. Oh, look at this. And then we can get Chris Damaris in here and he can yell about tater tots. This is great. It sounds like, which one, the standard cut?
[0:23:40] Andrew: Is that what you guys are saying is the one you're leaning? I would, I would say standard cut would be it. Right. It seems like, like I'm fine with that. I think it's a pretty good fry. I think everyone would agree.
[0:23:52] Gavin: Oh yeah. The steak fry. They're pretty good. I don't know. Chips British are different to steak fries and standard cut.
[0:24:03] Eric: Oh, interesting. Yeah. And there's potato wedges. That should be way lower.
[0:24:06] Andrew: I think there's a thing that you kind of touched on Eric. We haven't really explored seasoning. It's so important on the guys. Do we have it like a unanimous? I love the curly fry seasoning. If I could have that on every fry, I think I would.
[0:24:18] Eric: I like that too, but I don't need it.
[0:24:20] Andrew: Like I'm fine with just salt. I'm fine with salt too, but I'm fine with salt because you only get the curly fry seasoning on the curly fry, if there was a place to just put it on all fries, I would be happy about that. I would never be disappointed to have that seasoning on a French fry. Regardless.
[0:24:36] Eric: If I had crinkle cut fries with curly fry seasoning, that'd be a pretty good French fry. How do you feel about that, Gavin? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just think, I think for a regulation French fry, it has to be salt. It just has to be a straight salt one.
[0:24:53] Gavin: Okay. I'm confused as to why sweet potato fries would be on that list. How do you mean? I mean, is that the only non-regular potato on the list?
[0:25:02] Eric: Oh, I see what you're saying.
[0:25:04] Gavin: That's just a different thing to me. It's a different...
[0:25:06] Eric: It, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I agree. Yeah, I don't think it, I don't think it probably needs to be on that list.
[0:25:13] Andrew: Okay. Well, it looks like we are in agreement. The standard cut, like the McDonald's style fry, just salt. I don't think there's any other variation, really. Condiments, do whatever you want, whatever, you know, you dip it however you feel, or don't. Yeah. How do you feel, Gavin, while we're looking at Eric and I just eating some fries, no dip? Is that okay? Do you need condiments for that? That's fine, absolutely fine. Okay. Okay, cool.
[0:25:35] Eric: But okay, all right. But then, what if we eat like six fries, and then we put them down, and then we pick up six hot dogs? No condiments.
[0:25:43] Andrew: What if we are dipping our fries in a condiment, but just eating plain hot dogs? Yeah.
[0:25:48] Gavin: That would be insane. I don't think anyone would ever do that. Oh, I've definitely done that.
[0:25:54] Eric: I've been there. Plain hot dogs, but dipping your fries in ketchup would be hilarious.
[0:26:01] Unidentified: At Desjardins Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs. You put your heart into your company, so we put our heart into making sure it's protected. Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at Desjardins.com slash business coverage.
[0:26:34] Andrew: Okay, we have a few things we can pick from now. Okay. I'll let you guys decide. We can stick with food. I have burger, pie, or action hero.
[0:26:49] Eric: I kind of want to argue about pie. Do you want to argue about pie, Gavin?
[0:26:53] Andrew: Yes.
[0:26:54] Eric: Okay.
[0:26:55] Andrew: What is the regulation pie? I love apple pie. My favorite pie. I don't know if I'd say that's the regulation pie. I feel like it's too high of a tier, in my opinion. Okay. I have a question.
[0:27:06] Eric: Uh-huh. How is cheesecake not a pie? I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me either.
[0:27:14] Gavin: It has like a biscuity base.
[0:27:16] Eric: Yeah. Like a graham cracker crust?
[0:27:19] Gavin: Yeah.
[0:27:20] Eric: Yeah. Everything about it is pie, except in name. I'll look it up. I'll see if there's an answer to this question.
[0:27:26] Gavin: Because if it is a pie, it's my favorite pie.
[0:27:29] Eric: I agree with you. If cheesecake is a pie, then that is the ultimate pie.
[0:27:33] Gavin: Although, if someone asked me if I want a cheese pie, I'd be like, get that away from me.
[0:27:40] Eric: I think if somebody said, do you want a slice of pie, and then they gave me a piece of cheesecake, I would be confused. I would be thrilled. I'd be going, oh my God, we're having a fucking cheesecake? That's great.
[0:27:51] Andrew: I guess it's not a pie, because according to the Oxford Dictionary, a cheesecake is a type of tart. Oh. It's a tart. Okay. But it is a common question.
[0:28:03] Gavin: What makes it pie? Like, the top has to be?
[0:28:07] Eric: I bet it's probably crust all the way up to like a top, and then crust probably like a crust.
[0:28:13] Gavin: Cheesecake is lidless.
[0:28:14] Eric: No, because pumpkin, so is pumpkin pie. Fuck, yeah. Is it? Pumpkin pie is lidless. Show me a pumpkin pie. Yeah, it is. I thought it had a top. No. No. What? A typical pumpkin pie. Here. Pumpkin pie, boom. Here. There's no top on a pumpkin pie.
[0:28:29] Gavin: Oh, that's not, I've never had it. It looks repulsive. Uh, you've never had pumpkin pie? Pumpkin isn't food. It shouldn't be eaten.
[0:28:35] Eric: What about, I think pumpkin is mostly food.
[0:28:38] Gavin: It's not food.
[0:28:40] Eric: What is pumpkin then? Yeah. It's like Halloween shit. It's Halloween shit. It's decoration you can grow? Yeah.
[0:28:49] Gavin: It's a growable decoration. That's all it's good for.
[0:28:52] Eric: I was going to say that pumpkin pie was my pick for pie. That's interesting. God. I don't think that's going to happen. My grandma would make it and put a layer of cheesecake at the bottom. Oh. Oh. Oh, so good. But that's not. Oh my God.
[0:29:05] Gavin: Wouldn't that make it a pumpkin tot?
[0:29:08] Eric: I, I suppose so, but for, for the sake of this argument, I would still pick pumpkin pie. I could probably house a whole pumpkin pie. I think I could probably eat a whole pumpkin pie.
[0:29:16] Andrew: What about, okay, well, let's find Gavin. What is outside of, um, pumpkin? Are there any other pies you hate?
[0:29:23] Gavin: Uh, I hate all pies that you would find here. I hate all sweet pies.
[0:29:27] Eric: I knew it. This is why I wanted to argue pie. This is why I wanted to argue pie. I knew that Gavin, when we go, what's the best pie? He was going to be like, it was going to be this. And this isn't even like food to me. This is insane. This is like, what if, what if you took what a dog eats and then you put it on the inside of how you make an apple pie? And then you just feed it to people. And then you feed it to people as a joke.
[0:29:53] Gavin: I don't, I just don't know why then, why your pies aren't called dessert pies. A pie, a pie shouldn't be so, it shouldn't be able to fit in any part of the meal. Well, what pie came first?
[0:30:04] Andrew: Because it's, they're savory pies.
[0:30:07] Gavin: Which was the first pie? Yeah, what was the first pie?
[0:30:09] Andrew: I mean, I bet, I bet it was savory pies before sweet pies, don't you think? I would bet that too, but it is odd that there is a, pie is just pie, unless it's savory pie.
[0:30:18] Gavin: Ancient Egypt and Greece, savory pies in open pastry shells.
[0:30:23] Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, that, I mean, that makes sense. I can't imagine ancient Egypt chowing down on some pumpkin pie. It just feels, that's odd.
[0:30:32] Gavin: They found a tablet carved before 2000 BC and it was a recipe for chicken pie.
[0:30:37] Eric: Oh. I just think that when, when this is on the table, when there's, like, oh my God, this isn't, this is like what Gavin wants and I don't understand it.
[0:30:53] Gavin: I wonder when the last time I had a pucker pie was.
[0:30:56] Andrew: What's, is that what that is?
[0:30:58] Gavin: Nah, it was like a brand of little tiny pies, I think. Let me see. Pucker pie.
[0:31:04] Andrew: I don't want casserole with like a bread crust, which is what that one pie looks like. It looks like there's corn and beans.
[0:31:13] Eric: Dude, yuck, fucking yuckapucka pies. What is that? That looks deceptively good from the outside. You're got, yeah, but wait until, hey, but are you ready to see the inside, Andrew? I'm ready. I'm ready. You're going to get pissed. You ready to be pissed? Yeah, I'm ready. Fuck that.
[0:31:31] Andrew: Fuck that. That's some bullshit. That is like one of those games where they have to jump in the box and they can't see what it is. That looks delicious on the, what a fucking joke. What a mean joke.
[0:31:44] Gavin: They've got cheese, leek, and potato. They've got steak and ale. They've got cheese and stuffing. Oh, chicken and stuffing.
[0:31:49] Eric: Dude, this is the craziest, this might be the craziest meal I've ever seen. It's one of those pies and french fries with some, are those peas?
[0:32:02] Gavin: Well, peas, you don't forget mushy peas if you're having fish and chips. Mushy peas are a side. Sure. There's nothing better than sitting down with the family, having, having a little fish and chips. Someone might get a puck of pie and you just eat it on paper on the table. Brilliant. Happy Sunday.
[0:32:18] Andrew: You know what the problem with the pie, the, the savory pie is it looks like you've gutted an animal and the insides are just coming out. Yes. Like, yeah, I agree.
[0:32:27] Gavin: Visually. But it's all food that you would eat normally. I know, but it's just chicken or steak.
[0:32:32] Andrew: Like, I, I don't disagree, but there's something about the framing of it visually that is just repulsive to me.
[0:32:38] Eric: Yes. Yeah. Where, where you have something like, like, look, I mean, look at this. That's beautiful.
[0:32:49] Gavin: That looks way more gory. What? That, like, that looks like a dead animal.
[0:32:54] Andrew: It's all blood and no, I, that, that, that's like the pie above that you're the show and the, the meat pie thing. Yeah. That looks like you cut into the tauntaun or whatever the fuck that thing in star Wars is. And you got to make room for heat. Look at Gavin. Look at that. That looks delicious.
[0:33:11] Gavin: That's just, that's just a bucket of blueberries with shit on top. Yeah. That's the barely been converted to a pie. At least the pumpkin pie. You couldn't see a pumpkin.
[0:33:19] Eric: Right. But isn't that what you just argued about the puck of pie and everything is that it's just what you would eat anyway, but in a pie crust. Yeah.
[0:33:27] Gavin: But would you eat a bowl of blueberries?
[0:33:29] Eric: Yeah. Absolutely. I did yesterday. I sat down and ate a bunch of strawberries and bananas earlier. What are you talking about? Would you eat? Hey, hey dude, would you eat a bunch of fruit?
[0:33:38] Gavin: Yeah. I feel like, what? I feel like a little, little pun at a blueberries. You're going to be putting them on stuff. They're going to be like decorative. You're not just going to have a bowl spoonful of tiny blueberries.
[0:33:47] Andrew: Is all fruit decorative to you? No. What? Tiny fruit is. Everything.
[0:33:52] Gavin: It's like eating a bowl of cherries. Cherries are for putting on top, all right? No. For snacking on cherries. I've absolutely eaten bowls of cherries. You must have had the shits. So pumpkin, blueberry, and cherry are all just decorations that you can grow? No, no, no. Pumpkin is decoration that you shouldn't even eat. At least with a cherry, you can eat it.
[0:34:13] Eric: I think a meat pie is, dude, a meat pie is crazy.
[0:34:20] Gavin: What about a Christmas with a mince pie?
[0:34:22] Eric: I don't know what that is. I just don't like mince. That's my problem.
[0:34:24] Andrew: I don't know what mince is.
[0:34:27] Gavin: Mince pie Christmas.
[0:34:28] Andrew: Well, that's not my fault. It's a confusing name. Is it sweet?
[0:34:31] Gavin: Now, what do you think of this?
[0:34:33] Andrew: Ah, shit. Do I want to frick? That?
[0:34:35] Gavin: There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[0:34:35] Andrew: See, that's the most appealing because it doesn't look like it's bleeding out.
[0:34:39] Gavin: It's like a fruit. It's fruity.
[0:34:42] Andrew: Is it raisins?
[0:34:43] Gavin: Uh, I don't know if it's raisins. It's usually like fruits of the forest and all that. Like raspberries and blackberries.
[0:34:49] Eric: Okay, so you're fine with that, but for some reason, blueberries is weird? I'm only fine with that at Christmas.
[0:34:58] Andrew: Fruits of the forest is such a funny descriptor. Looking at the photo you shared, Gavin, and I feel like a child because I realized that if that star crust wasn't on top, it would be infinitely less delicious looking to me. Oh, I totally agree.
[0:35:13] Eric: That star is carrying the entire dish. It's doing, yeah. The star is doing like a lot of heavy lifting. I just don't think when you think pie, that's not the regulation pie. No, it can't be.
[0:35:26] Gavin: No, it's not regulation, but I think a lot of them are apple.
[0:35:29] Eric: So apple pie would be the regulation pie. Uh, well, are you, wait, are you a fan of apple pie?
[0:35:35] Gavin: No, not really.
[0:35:37] Eric: It's fine. I don't like ketchup or mustard.
[0:35:42] Gavin: I think if, if, if you think pie from like a media perspective, like, uh, like a movie, someone's getting pie, it's going to be apple pie.
[0:35:51] Eric: The thing though, I agree.
[0:35:52] Gavin: The problem with that film. Yeah.
[0:35:56] Andrew: Oh yeah.
[0:35:56] Eric: That was apple pie.
[0:35:57] Andrew: Yeah. Do you ever, um, no, go for it. I was going to say the problem was with establishing a regulation. I feel like if we put it at the peak that lowers all other pies, if that makes sense.
[0:36:08] Eric: Yeah. Too bad. Too bad. Okay. Like that's the thought. Yeah. I mean, I mean to me, a regulation pie being apple pie makes so much sense. Okay. Have you guys ever, you're going to think I'm nuts. Probably. Um, this, I'm not proposing this to be regulation. I think apple pie should be the regulation pie. Have you guys ever done a apple pie with a piece of yellow cheese? No, but I want to God. That's something Jeff and I have been meaning to try is a different. Yeah. I, uh, he orders it in taxi driver. And I remember being in college and going like, that's crazy. There's no way it's good. It's so fucking good. I love a piece of apple pie. Really? With a slice of yellow cheese on it. That's so good.
[0:36:48] Gavin: That is.
[0:36:48] Andrew: It's so, that is, oh, it's so good. It's like Maine. I don't remember. There was a certain state that that is their dessert. Like that is the state dessert. Oh, really?
[0:36:58] Eric: I don't remember which one it is though, but I, I loved it. I was like so impressed by it. I, it's, it adds like a weird creaminess to it that you're not expecting from your pie. And it is like, it's bonkers. I love it. I'm surprised you're not on board for this, Gavin.
[0:37:12] Andrew: Cause I feel like it's adding savory to a sweet.
[0:37:14] Gavin: Uh, I would try it, but it doesn't, I mean, let's be honest. It doesn't look good.
[0:37:21] Eric: No, it doesn't. But boy, is it fucking delicious. I would argue it looks better than any of the pies you've posted.
[0:37:27] Gavin: That's true. Okay. I haven't posted all my pies. What about a shepherd's pie?
[0:37:30] Eric: Yeah. I don't know. I really, that is if pumpkin pie isn't pie, that is just simply dog food with mashed potatoes on top.
[0:37:38] Gavin: It's lamb.
[0:37:40] Eric: I really like the top half. Okay.
[0:37:43] Gavin: So I like this pie doesn't even have a bottom. It's usually just done in a big dish where there's meat and then you just put potato on top.
[0:37:51] Andrew: See, that's the problem for me. Cause I think the crust is like 60 to 70% of a good pie.
[0:37:56] Gavin: Yeah.
[0:37:56] Andrew: I 100% love it.
[0:37:58] Gavin: So shepherd's is potentially a crustless pie unless you really crisp up the spud on top.
[0:38:04] Andrew: Which I'm a fan of. That sounds great. But it's, you know, I don't want to.
[0:38:10] Gavin: Do Americans eat peas ever? Yeah. Yeah. Just by themselves. Just not in a pie.
[0:38:17] Eric: Yeah. I think it's just, I think it's just a side of, I think it's just like side of peas. And then also like, you guys have like mushy peas. We don't do mushy.
[0:38:23] Andrew: I'm not a fan of the mush.
[0:38:25] Eric: Oh, is that right?
[0:38:26] Andrew: I don't even like. Is it dry? Like, is it a wet mush? Like, is it what? I don't even understand what a mush is. Let me get you some mushy peas. See, once again, all of all of the food that Gavin's posting is a mean trick.
[0:38:43] Eric: He's sending the craziest. It's the craziest shit I've ever seen.
[0:38:46] Andrew: It's a practical joke where you look at the top and go, that looks great. And then you go in an inch and it's a problem. See, that looks like fucking dried up guacamole. Oh, it's mashed potatoes. It's green mashed potatoes. It's some green. That's some Dr. Seuss mashed potatoes.
[0:39:04] Gavin: I would love to lay out like a nice, like fajita meal. Just replace all the ingredients with different British shit. So like you go for the guac and it's peas.
[0:39:15] Eric: Oh, so sad. Oh, man. Oh, that's so sad. Okay. Terrible.
[0:39:19] Andrew: Well, I feel like we're leaning apple pie, which is, I'm.
[0:39:22] Eric: I think apple pie is the standard. I think apple pie is regulation.
[0:39:26] Andrew: I think that's it. Okay. We've locked in regulation pie. Okay. And I think we've, I mean, we're at 40 minutes. That's like, that's kind of thing. Let's do one more. I want to do one more.
[0:39:35] Eric: Okay. I want to do one more. Yeah. We can either. Because I feel like we're going to finish strong. I picked pie because I knew we were going to argue about it.
[0:39:40] Andrew: I had in my notes, savory pie is an alternative, but I thought that it wouldn't be needed. And also that Gavin would be the only one that has an opinion on savory pie. Yep. Although Nick, I bet you fucking Nick food free.
[0:39:53] Eric: Oh, I bet Nick is probably going to come back and look at the pictures that we posted and he's going to go. For like 15 minutes. Yeah.
[0:40:00] Gavin: He's going to be like, Oh, what did I miss? Let's do it again.
[0:40:03] Eric: This is his worst fear. He missed the thing about food.
[0:40:06] Andrew: Uh, we got burgers or action heroes.
[0:40:11] Gavin: Um, you want to keep it food?
[0:40:13] Andrew: Let's, let's keep it food. Okay.
[0:40:15] Gavin: Let's go all food this episode.
[0:40:17] Andrew: Yep. Burger. Okay. So what I, unlike the hot dog, I feel like there's room for conversation about the bun. What type of bun are we talking? We talking a pretzel bun. We talking a brioche talking a potato or a sesame, a sesame.
[0:40:31] Eric: I, I'm a potato bun guy, but I understand if, I understand if that's not where people land. I am, especially if we're trying to come up with regulation burger, you know, like what is the regulation one? I totally understand if it's not potato. See, I'm a big potato bun guy as well.
[0:40:50] Gavin: I feel like that is the regulation burger bun.
[0:40:53] Eric: That, that is, that's more than just regulation. That's like bog standard. Yeah. Like that is truly.
[0:40:59] Andrew: It's just the basic white with sesame on it. Yeah. Um, yeah. Full on. Full on. I hated them. But I, like in the world of bun, in the burger bun technology world, it's like, we're going back to the twenties with that. There, there've been so many improvements over the years.
[0:41:17] Eric: Yeah, but they really, they really nailed it.
[0:41:20] Gavin: Is this the, the regulation hamburger or just burger?
[0:41:25] Andrew: Oh, what? Well, I don't even understand. What do you mean? Like a chicken burger? I'm excited to find out. Is that what you're saying?
[0:41:30] Gavin: Well, because if it's regulation burger, I feel like a cheeseburger could be included. If it's a hamburger, you would specify cheese, if a cheeseburger, if you want a cheese.
[0:41:38] Andrew: In my head, a cheeseburger is always the choice. Like it's such a, that is like when I say hamburger, I mean cheeseburger, but you're right.
[0:41:45] Eric: It is technically different. Like we've talked about this on 100% eat a lot where Michael has said sort of ad nauseum that like when you say hamburger, what you mean is cheeseburger because cheese is the default on a burger. Yes. Like that is what it should be. I think that's backwards.
[0:42:02] Gavin: Really? I think if you say hamburger, you mean a burger without cheese.
[0:42:07] Eric: I think you're, you're technically completely right, but I just don't. Yes. But I don't think that that is what people lean toward more often than not. But I think the expectation is cheese on the burger and it's not about getting the, like the wording totally correct. It's that over time that has become the default.
[0:42:27] Gavin: Yeah. I just feel like you would say burgers on the burger. You wouldn't say hamburger in that case. If, if, if I want, if you, if you said we're having burgers, they better fricking be cheeseburgers. If you said we're having hamburgers, I'd be like, this would be insane to assume cheese.
[0:42:42] Eric: Okay. So this is regulation burger. Yeah. Let's call this regulation burger because it absolutely has cheese. It absolutely has cheese.
[0:42:48] Andrew: Can I say that the idea that cheese is like an additional thing you pay for, that's like one of the greatest restaurant tricks. Like they pulled the wool over our eyes. It would be like if they paid a premium for salt on fries is the equivalent. Like it's such a, it's, it's exactly. Okay. So we're doing poppy seed. I'm fine with, as I said, like I would never opt for that, but I do agree.
[0:43:13] Eric: That's sesame. Poppy. Sesame. Yeah. That's sesame seed. That is sesame. Poppy's the black one.
[0:43:18] Andrew: It is true. Yeah. I see. That's my outrage. I only like those. See, I like the ones with the poppy seed on them and it's a little bit darker cut. The bun, like it's cooked a little bit more.
[0:43:28] Eric: That's the, that's, that's the worst version of this. Oh, I disagree.
[0:43:31] Andrew: It's a pretty strong bun. Yeah. Yeah. A poppy seed. See what the sesame seed is. That's some Burger King shit, Eric, which I'm surprised you're a fan of.
[0:43:40] Eric: I, the, the, this is just when I get a burger at like a cookout or whatever, like that's it. Like that, that to me is, that's where we're at. Gavin, did you look up poppy seed bun and you're going, why the fuck is he talking about this?
[0:43:54] Gavin: I'm seeing it only on like long buns.
[0:43:57] Eric: Oh yeah. Like hot dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's like, if you want to eat a burger the long way, I wonder if a, a, a long big
[0:44:11] Gavin: Mac would be as good as just a big Mac. I don't think a big Mac is good.
[0:44:15] Eric: Should we try to make long hamburgers? Sure. Yeah. We should try to make long burgers and see if they're better that way.
[0:44:22] Andrew: Oh, are we talking? Oh, is it like, are we making burger dogs where it's shaped like that? Okay. Yeah. And not like smash burgers where it's long, but then extended.
[0:44:32] Eric: We got to try to keep some, some. We called those at, uh, at mega 64. I think we called them hot dergers. And then, uh, and then, and then the other one, I think we called, uh, uh, hambogs. So that way you wouldn't, you wouldn't get too confused. So that way you knew about hambogs and hot dergers. This type of bun I'm talking about.
[0:44:57] Gavin: I love it. I feel like, I feel like as soon as you said ham, what did you say? Hambogs?
[0:45:04] Eric: Yeah.
[0:45:04] Gavin: Hambogs. I feel like my understanding of like all the visuals in my head just exploded. And I lost, I lost, I lost my holdings of everything. I just completely lost what we were talking about.
[0:45:14] Eric: Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about hambogs and hot dergers.
[0:45:21] Andrew: Okay. So we have the bun with the core cheese. We agree on, but what type of cheese are we talking to cheddar? I personally like mozzarella, but I think a cheddar is probably, I think it's just got
[0:45:31] Gavin: to be a shitty American slice.
[0:45:33] Eric: I think it's, I think it's American. It is. I think it has to be American cheese. It's the meltiest.
[0:45:37] Unidentified: At Desjardins Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs. You put your heart into your company. So we put our heart into making sure it's protected. Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at Desjardins.com slash business coverage.
[0:46:06] Eric: I also think, I'm going to just take a swing and say, and I don't think you guys are going to agree, but I guess we'll see where it stands. Onion and tomato are both going on what I think is a standard hamburger. What do you think?
[0:46:24] Gavin: I would say, I would have said onion, tomato, and lettuce.
[0:46:27] Eric: Yeah. So I think lettuce is fine. I don't think it adds anything. And if I'm say, like, if I have a say in this thing, I'm like, get that. Oh yeah, absolutely. I'm fine if you guys want it, but like, I just don't think, I don't think you need it.
[0:46:41] Gavin: Lettuce to me is like the, the burger thumbnail though. It's like, it makes it look slightly more appetizing, even though it has minimal impact on the meal. It is the garnish.
[0:46:49] Andrew: Yeah. Um, yeah. Although sometimes you can get a little too thick with the lettuce and it's like, I'm eating
[0:46:54] Eric: a salad and it's slimy and now like, yep. That's where I'm coming from with it, where you get like, someone just gets like the one lettuce leaf and they just throw it on there and it's all slippy and every, and it's just like, no, I want like the bib lettuce, like put a couple of slices on there. It's nice. And it adds like a, a little something to it, but I'm fine. We can have lettuce on this thing. I'm not opposed to it. I like lettuce. I will say onion.
[0:47:19] Andrew: I don't like tomato.
[0:47:19] Eric: That is where I stand for sweet. Ooh.
[0:47:21] Andrew: But I do agree that the tomato I feel like is a part of the burger.
[0:47:26] Eric: Okay. If you want, if we're, if we're, it's a little bit of a give and take here, then I want no pickles.
[0:47:31] Andrew: Oh, I'm fine with that. Get the fucking. Okay, cool. You don't even see them. Get them out of there. No.
[0:47:37] Gavin: I hate them, but I feel like a stuff like a big Mac without a gherkin.
[0:47:41] Andrew: Oh, you hate gherkins.
[0:47:42] Gavin: Oh, I hate them.
[0:47:43] Andrew: Oh, I hate pickles. How the fuck do you hate pickles, but like Branston pickle? How is this possible?
[0:47:49] Gavin: It's not like Branston has other pickled shit. It's like onion. It's, it's other shit.
[0:47:55] Andrew: There are no pickles in Branston pickle.
[0:47:57] Gavin: Yeah.
[0:47:58] Andrew: There has to be pickles.
[0:47:59] Gavin: It's not all cucumber.
[0:48:01] Andrew: I, it's insane. That is an insane case reference.
[0:48:04] Eric: No, no, I'm, I'm with Gavin on this. I, I pickle my own onions at home and they go on like everything. No, totally fair.
[0:48:10] Andrew: Yeah, absolutely. Like nothing.
[0:48:11] Eric: I just think pickles are, I think pickles, the actual pickle is vile.
[0:48:15] Gavin: I think it's stupid to call something a process.
[0:48:19] Eric: Okay. I agree. Unless we change, unless we change the name of beer to fermentation.
[0:48:28] Andrew: I'm just trying to wrap my head around. Cause I agree with everything you're saying, but the fact that you love Branston pickles is really what holds me up.
[0:48:34] Gavin: It's different veg. It's different. No, but that's a jar of pickle, right? It's not a pickle, but there are pickles in Branston pickle. They're a small part of the pie. It's all, but it's all different. It's all like obliterated by the pickling process. Yeah. Gavin, Gavin can tell you all about different kinds of pie.
[0:48:49] Andrew: I'll say, well, so wait, if it was a pickled pickle, would you be, would you enjoy that? What do you mean a pickle, pickle? What are you talking about?
[0:48:57] Gavin: A cucumber? You mean? Well, if you pickle a pickle, if you pickle a, what are you talking about? Pickle a pickle. Silly bollocks. Boys, boys, save it for the podcast. Like, like a spoonful of pickle. It looks like that.
[0:49:12] Eric: Oh, that's awful. Don't show me that. That looks like more dog food. It looks like stuffed you feed a dog. Why is it next to a piece of like rolled ham? What's happening in this picture?
[0:49:22] Gavin: They're probably cooking up a lovely plowman's. Stop. Stop finding plowman's everywhere too. It's been terrible. I went to Waitrose yesterday and I bought a plowman's sandwich. But that's like a, that's like an original plowman's lunch probably. Just like a layout of all the different stuff.
[0:49:44] Andrew: That spoon, that looks like you have, I don't know, like, like the plague or something. And that's the cure. That's the remedy that they're trying to give you.
[0:49:53] Gavin: Curing. I like cubes of glistening sludge. What can I say?
[0:49:57] Eric: Yeah, you definitely do. Anyway, back on topic. Oh my God. Okay. So. That looks great. I just sent an image of a burger. See, that fucking, that to me is, that looks like a burger. Now, here's the thing. Condiment wise on the bottom here, it looks like it might be ketchup or something. I think if there's going to be a condiment, it should probably be Thousand Island.
[0:50:15] Andrew: No. What? No. Yeah. No. Are you an idiot? No, we're not doing Thousand Island. That's an insane. What should be on it? Anything, like, I see, I don't like the Big Mac at all. I'm not a fan of the Thousand Island. I'm okay with, like, a mayo, like an aioli or a mayo mixture. I'm fine with a mayo. I can live with a mayo. I don't love it, but I can live with a mayo. I typically would do, I don't, yeah, I don't know. Mustard feels weird to me on that, but so does ketchup. I don't typically, it's not a burger I would typically eat, but it looks very appetizing. Mm-hmm.
[0:50:50] Eric: I think we got to go aioli or, like, a mayo or something. Yeah. What about an aioli? What about, like, a garlic aioli?
[0:51:01] Gavin: Yeah. I mean, that just defends, that's how fancy the burger is, right? Like, if I'm making these on my grill, I'm probably, I'm probably just slinging some ketchup in it.
[0:51:11] Eric: Yeah.
[0:51:11] Gavin: But I would rather have an aioli of some sort.
[0:51:15] Eric: Now, here's, here's where I can, I'll, I'll say aioli's fine. Like, I think that that's just dressed up mayonnaise. I don't mind it. It's fine. Uh, if we're doing the style of hamburger, I will always go smash burger. Ooh, yeah. I'm a big, yeah, I like a smash burger. It, I love it. I love that type of burger.
[0:51:38] Gavin: If, if the burger's all squashed like that and the bread's all mushy and it's wrapped in a bag that's gone transparent because of all the grease, I hate it.
[0:51:47] Eric: Really? That is, like, so my preferred burger. Like, that picture that I sent?
[0:51:53] Gavin: No, the, way better.
[0:51:54] Eric: The one that, the one that I sent? Oh my God. Like, give me that now. I'll, I'll eat 10. Like, let's, like, I'll do insane.
[0:52:00] Gavin: You're gonna have such wet hands after.
[0:52:02] Eric: Yeah, I, I, yeah. And, and, and I will, and I will suffer those blows to eat that.
[0:52:07] Gavin: And if you're wearing long sleeves, chances are when, when you're holding it upright towards the mouth, it's gonna go down your damn sleeves or that juice.
[0:52:14] Andrew: That's a good point. Here's the problem. I feel like we're too late to swap to a smash burger. Because I would change the design of all the content. Like, everything structurally is different to me if we're going smash. I don't want anything. I don't want lettuce. I don't want tomato.
[0:52:28] Eric: I'm purely there for this. Okay, then what about, what about something that's a little thicker than a smash burger? See, that looks fine to me. Okay, okay. So, something that's a little bit thicker. I just don't, I'm so over, my whole life was eating these thick hamburger puck things that were just never. Sure. All together, like, came out right. Yeah, dry, some pieces of moist. And I, I just always go for a thinner burger because I, to me, it's cooked better all the way through. I'm fine with that.
[0:52:59] Andrew: Like, I'm, yeah, let's, do we just clarify it's not a giant meat patty, just like a small, like a normal sized, not insane. Because I, that, that works for me. I think it's just something on the thinner side, but not, you know, a big fat. Now, you said, you described aioli as just mayo in a disguise. That's what I need for my mayo. I can't handle. Okay. I fucking hate mayo, but if it's, if I don't know it's there or I don't see it, I like it a lot.
[0:53:27] Gavin: But I can't. I'm pretty sure he said dressed up mayo, not mayo, like wearing a mask. Whatever.
[0:53:31] Andrew: I didn't remember. I just knew the idea was that it was mayo fancied up, and that's what I need for my mayo. It is. I can't just have base mayo. If I do have it, I need it to be hidden in the dish, and then I'll be fine with it.
[0:53:44] Gavin: What about salad cream?
[0:53:45] Andrew: I, ugh. I don't. Honestly, when I did the Branson popsicle thing, that was so bad that it has, like, overtaken all the other flavors that I've tried that you've recommended over the years. So, I don't remember if I...
[0:53:59] Gavin: But you never had normal Branson in a normal situation, though.
[0:54:03] Andrew: Did I not? Did I not just have hot Branson? I think I did, didn't I? It's not. Why would you have it hot? Hot? Oh, no. Branson pickle. No, no. Sorry. I'm thinking the, the, whatever, the, the meat, bovril. That's what I was thinking. When I had the bovril popsicle, that's really, like, that was such a bad experience that...
[0:54:23] Gavin: Yeah, your salad cream, the, the bovril.
[0:54:26] Andrew: But I think I had bovril normally as well.
[0:54:28] Gavin: But did you have Branson pickle normally? I can't even remember.
[0:54:31] Andrew: I, yeah, I had it on toast. I had it the way that you suggested. I had it on, like, a... Toast? I had it on bread with cheese or something. Oh, yeah, cheese sandwich.
[0:54:38] Gavin: Classic. I followed your instructions.
[0:54:41] Eric: I can't believe you had it on toast. There was cheese. Oh, then fuck, yeah.
[0:54:44] Gavin: Well, it wasn't toast. It should have just been bread and cheese and breasted. No, no, it wasn't toasted.
[0:54:47] Andrew: I just, it was a long time ago. I remember, though, I specifically asked you, how do I eat this? Because I wanted the fair testing. Was not a fan. I think salad cream I was okay with, but it's sort of just gross. Anyway, I need an aioli. I want a garlic aioli. Would be my preference.
[0:55:04] Eric: I understand. That's fine. I can, I'm, I'm totally fine with that. I need that disguise on that mayo.
[0:55:09] Gavin: Okay. But is that part of the regulation burger, though? You think it's going to be aioli?
[0:55:12] Eric: Well, we get to set the regulation. That's why I'm trying to get it over to Thousand Island, a very acceptable thing.
[0:55:18] Andrew: There's no, Thousand Island, I feel like, is weirder than a garlic aioli.
[0:55:23] Eric: You're nuts.
[0:55:24] Gavin: I feel like Thousand Island is just very American.
[0:55:27] Andrew: See, maybe that is, that could just be, yeah, for me, I've never experienced that, outside of McDonald's.
[0:55:32] Eric: I'm right. It's okay. But we can go garlic aioli or whatever. That's fine.
[0:55:36] Andrew: Do we need, is there anything else that we're missing? Are we all in agreement? No pickle. I feel good about, with the onion. I feel good about what we got. I'm honest. I'm looking at that first burger you posted and I'm imagining it being a little less thick,
[0:55:46] Eric: but like, fuck, that's a, that's a good looking burger. I mean, that, that's it to me is it's that image of that burger, but, but two patty, two
[0:55:54] Andrew: patties a little less. I got a, I got a little wrinkle I'd like to throw in as a personal preference, looking at it. What if we swap the onion with onion ring? How do we feel about that?
[0:56:03] Gavin: Uh, I like, I like the cold, crunchy onion. Me too.
[0:56:06] Eric: I think it's too specialized.
[0:56:08] Gavin: Fair enough. And the, the fried part of the onion ring can often sit too long and absorb too much and become soggy itself.
[0:56:14] Andrew: Are we getting any bacon in this thing?
[0:56:16] Gavin: I don't think it's a part of the regulation.
[0:56:18] Andrew: No. Okay. No, not, not as part of the regulation. Okay. So the regulation burger is just a, a standard sesame seed, but Oh, that was burp. A sesame seed bottle, lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, basic burger, and a garlic aioli.
[0:56:37] Eric: I think that's it. Wow. I think that's what an episode.
[0:56:41] Gavin: We locked in.
[0:56:42] Eric: So this is great. I think this is, I think this is such a good idea. And now we're never going to hear the fucking end of it from Jack. It's, we just went through a bunch of foods, made decisions without him, and he's going to have a lot to say.
[0:56:53] Andrew: Well, we got a majority of, you know, the regulation company, we have a majority system for all of our decisions. It's too bad. He wasn't here. He was invited.
[0:57:01] Gavin: But do you really think that people, when they, when they think of a regulation burger, put garlic aioli? Yeah.
[0:57:07] Eric: No. Again, I think it's thousand Island, but you guys won't listen. I think it's ketchup.
[0:57:11] Andrew: It's not ketchup. Eric hates ketchup. I think we, it's a compromise, Gavin. We're coming to a compromise here. I think this is a world in which we're all happy. Are you not happy with it?
[0:57:21] Gavin: I mean, I would eat that, but I'm just saying a lot of people are just like, oh, let's make, let's make burgers tonight. Yeah. I'll get the buns. I'll get the, you know, the meat. And then it's just whatever you have in the fridge and what you have in the fridge is probably going to be ketchup. It's probably not going to be thousand Island or garlic aioli.
[0:57:35] Eric: Oh, I got thousand Island in the fridge. I got garlic aioli in the fridge. All right.
[0:57:39] Andrew: All right. I'm wrong. No, I don't think you're necessarily wrong, but if you feel strongly, I mean, we could hash it out more, but I just, I felt like we had a good compromise. No, I think, I think we landed on it. I think we're okay. We landed on it. All right. Cause I love ketchup, but like, I listen, I'm, if you want to go catch up, I would go, but I think garlic aioli is the thing. All right. For me. Okay. Well, we got the burger locked in. We got, what do we got? Hot dog locked in. We got pie locked in. French fry. It's crazy. The first. So, okay. So let's just go through it all. Hot dog. Bun. Plain bun. Normal dog. Ketchup and a mustard of your choice. Any variety. French fry is like the standard cut fry with salt. Very basic. Like, I think that's an easy, very accessible thing. Then we got pie, which is apple pie. Once again, I feel incredibly accessible. My personal favorite pie. Very excited about that. And the burger is sesame seed, lettuce, tomato, onion, American cheese, garlic aioli.
[0:58:39] Andrew: What a meal. What a cookout.
[0:58:41] Eric: Garlic. Garlic aioli, Gavin. Garlic aioli. Listen, Eric, you want it to be ketchup? I'll fight on the ketchup tray.
[0:58:48] Andrew: Nope. Nope. Garlic aioli it is, baby. I'm going to lock that in. Thank you.
[0:58:52] Gavin: Is that sold? Is that like a Heinz garlic aioli? Yeah, there is.
[0:58:56] Andrew: Absolutely is.
[0:58:57] Gavin: Show it to me.
[0:58:58] Andrew: Okay. One sec. Okay. Find a photo of it. Do you see that Heinz just did the 15 dressings in one as like a promotion? Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Do you see everything dressing?
[0:59:09] Eric: Damn. I might buy this. Oh, wow. It's awesome. I might. Yeah, that's what I have. I might. It's great. Yeah, I might buy that. It's delicious. That looks fucking, that genuinely looks really good. It's good.
[0:59:20] Gavin: I think I should start keeping this on hand. You should. Yeah, me too.
[0:59:23] Eric: I might. Dude, hey, our lives might be different from this point on.
[0:59:27] Andrew: It's pretty interesting. See, that's like, I don't know what you're imagining, but that is what I have. It's just a squeeze bottle of Heinz aioli.
[0:59:35] Gavin: Totally good now. I think that's just really fancy. I just didn't grow up in that kind of household.
[0:59:38] Andrew: Oh, totally. No, I agree. Yeah. This is something I have recently gotten into. I think it's a relatively new product for them as well, but it's delicious. And we applied, we set new regulations, new standards. We have a rule we have set up. I can't, as you said, Eric, can't wait to hear Jeff's reaction, especially to learning that we have a regulation hot dog and burger and all that stuff. Thank you so much for listening. If you have stuff that you would like us to set regulations on, feel free to list that in the comments of wherever you're absorbing this and check out our Patreon.
[1:00:13] Gavin: And just to be clear with us regulating stuff and the regulation thing, what's the goal?
[1:00:19] Andrew: Is it so that it's if we're setting a regulation? Yeah. If they want to have a regulation burger, the burger. Yeah. They now know what it is. Yeah. Yeah. They know what it is. It has garlic aioli. It has garlic aioli. It doesn't have onions on it, which is what I'd be leaning on. Absolutely insane. Everybody get Heinz aioli. I'm not sponsored by Heinz. Maybe I'm sponsored by Heinz. Anyway, check out our Patreon, Regulatrion.com or the Regulatrion Pod. Find it. We've got YouTube channels. You'll find it all. Thank you so much for listening. Bye. Bye now. Bye.
